Terrorism, Madness and Arrogance

"I tried to sign up for a signature writing course, but couldn't complete the form"

I see that a plane has crash landed at Heathrow Airport. There were no injuries, but it hasn't done anything to soothe my fear of flying.

The one and only time I have flown was back in November 1998; I went to South Africa for two weeks.

South Africa seems to be in stuck in some sort of timewarp. The whole time I was there, it felt like I was back in 1992. Very odd. My parents have been back several times and in 2003 they brought me a South African music magazine back. Pretty much every single artist featured looked like a badly styled early 90's musician. Believe me, it's not pretty.

Anyway, yes! I flew in 1998 with no trouble. No fear, no nothing. The only thing that annoyed me was the fact that the whole flight process seems like some sort of nightmare. You can't sleep, there's not much room and sitting for 12 hours in one spot is thoroughly life sapping.

A few years after that I suddenly began to think "But what if the plane had crashed? CRASHED?!". I can't remember whether this was before or after 9/11, but that event certainly didn't help.

Since 9/11 how many planes have been involved in terrorist plots? None! That doesn't stop me worrying though!

I have, however, looked into the options of 'safe' flying - where the chance of terrorism is low. The following points show how you can reduce your chances of death.

1. Don't Fly At All
This pretty much guarantees no chance of dying from aviation related terrorism. Unless of course you work in a tall building. This option is not for me though. Although I don't feel the urge to backpack around the world, there are a few places that I would like to visit - Tokyo, New York, Paris and Italy. I will have to fly there somehow!

2. Don't Fly From The UK
Due to the UK's alliance with the US, we have become a target of terrorism. You only have to look at the horror of 7/7 to see that people want to hurt us. A plane taking off from the UK is ideal for a terrorist to hijack. You could be in London within half an hour at the most. Therefore, it would perhaps be best to fly from a country who haven't done too much to upset the extremists. Bulgaria, for example. There are however two problems with this:

A - How would I get to mainland Europe? The Channel Tunnel? HA! Again it's a target for terrorists. A bomb goes off in there and then the sea floods the whole damn thing. I could of course go by ferry, but again there are potential dangers. A terrorist could hijack the vessel and go down the Thames in it. The Houses of Parliament would then be a prime target.

B - I'm too tight to pay the extra money.

3. Take A Private Flight
Did you not hear me? I'M TOO TIGHT TO PAY THE EXTRA MONEY!!!

4. Book A Ridiculously Timed Flight
This is the only viable option I have come up with so far. I need to plan my flight times, so that they're not at peak times. Why would a terrorist want to nosedive into London at 4 in the morning? It's not going to cause as much death or carnage is it? I also need to aim to arrive in my destination at an off peak time. I don't think it should be so hard to arrange. This also has the added bonus that an off peak flight should be slightly cheaper.

I hope that you find this of some help.

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I bought a CD single for the first time in years yesterday. Note that I said CD single, as I have bought several vinyl singles in the recent past. A lot of bands I like release vinyl only releases, so it's good to get them. Sometimes they become worth fair bit of money, but they also look rather smart.I dare anyone to deny the magnificence that is the cover to 'Reptilia' by 'The Strokes'.

Getting back on track, the CD that I bought was NW5 by Madness. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they had a good single out. In my opinion. It could easily have been plucked from their peak. It has all the classic Madness trademarks - A sweet yearning chorus, a hint of nostalgia and a sax solo. I don't usually buy CD singles as they are somewhat of a ripoff, but I was genuinely moved by the song. It gave me a warm feeling to see that men in their 40's were still capable of pulling a rabbit out of the hat.. That was why I decided to reward them with £2.99 of my money.

I met Suggs once, actually. It was in Leicester Square back in Spring 1999. I shook his hand and he seemed to be a thoroughly decent chap.

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My GCSE history teacher once called me the most arrogant person she had ever met. I was laughing about that today and recalled a funny incident from 2002. Please note that I'm not arrogant, I just like to wind people up. So, here is the scene:

I am in the back of Laura's car on a Friday night. Laura is Sam's girlfriend. Laura is driving Sam and I up town. Laura is moaning about how I'm arrogant and a pisstaker. Sam leaps to my defence.

Sam: Nah, Ben's alright.

Ben: I'm sorry, Sam, but I'm going to have to correct you there. Ben is ALWAYS right.

Sam and I start laughing. From what I recall, Laura then attempted to crash the car.