Dancing

"I don’t believe in the concept of post-feminism. I mean, the posts late
enough as it is without women getting involved."

Back in 2001 I was a very silly goose of an 18 year old and used to find various ways of amusing myself at work. Most often, these attempts at 'funning myself up' took place in the toilets. I remember how I went through a phase of messing about with bleach. The cleaners would often leave bottles of bleaches in the toilet; I would elicit some sort of fun by taking these into the the cubicles and squirting the entire contents into the toilet. Perhaps I thought I was sticking one finger up to the man. Then again, perhaps I was just angry with the unsanitary conditions of our toilets.

My favourite act of madness, though, was to dance in the toilets. I would strut in, check my hair in the mirror, make sure that no one else was about and then perform some freeform dancing. Occasionally I'd incorporate a more traditional dance such as 'The Mash Potato'. It was a classic case of getting a thrill from the fear of being caught. I never was caught, but the thought of it sparked unknown pleasures. The thought of someone catching me, whilst high kicking and hip-thrusting, affected parts of my anatomy in ways that I would rather not discuss.

As with most things, the thrill soon wore off. I continued dancing for some time, but the bleach squirting did not last long at all. Just recently, though, I have decided to resurrect the 'dancing'. However, whereas the original set up involved me dancing all round the toilets alone, this time it's slightly different.

If I wander into the toilets and can see that there is someone in a cubicle, then I know that the time is right. I hurry into the cubicle next to them and then shut the door. I then position myself so that I am facing side onto the other 'toiletgoer'. They are not aware of this, unless of course they are peering over or under the divider between the cubicles. When I am ready, I begin to D.A.N.C.E.

As in 2001 it is mostly freeform, but with the occasional traditional piece chucked in for good measure.There's less of a chance of getting caught, unless of course I fall over. However, it makes me laugh to myself no end and I think I'll carry it on for some time.

My mother is very proud of this. Just the other day I heard her on the phone saying: "Ben? Oh he's getting on very well. Only the other day he was dancing the polka next to a chief executive".

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I've recently booked tickets to go see the glam/electro/psyche rave/ band that are Late of The Pier. They're probably the only 'scene' band worth seeing. I've seen them twice before and their live show is phenomenal. They strip down to their chests which are painted with some geometric patterns and occasionally get a masked wizard on stage.

Now, I'm not usually one to get into the spirit of things as it's so easy to come across as a loser. However, I am making an exception for this Late of The Pier gig. I intend to craft myself a nu-rave t-shirt for the event. It will consist of lyrics, the bands name, holograms, neon mesh and various little bits and pieces. I shall no doubt post some pictures here for you to see.